White Moments As Told By A White Guy

What I'm going to tell you might shock, alarm, and appall you, so hold on to your hats:

I am White.

Yeah... I'm basically just messing with you guys, most of you know I'm pretty much the whitest thing since milk, paper, and white-out-- but those of you who also know me pretty well just said "Pax, you're not white, stop lying to these people"-- I know, I know... I can tell jokes too hahaha.

Basically I'm here to dispel this little thing called "White Moments" (which are similar to "Asian moments", "Black Moments" "_____ Moments"-- whatever applicable moment that is)

White moments are basically define as when anyone, mostly white people manage to take a normal situation between friends, family, acquaintances, classmates, and strangers and manage to have a white overload and have in turn made the moment a "white moment".

An example of one such "white moment" recently would come from a friend of mine's Plurk-- (full link can be found here)

White moment in 3--2--1...

OG MikeBz

I like chucks, they're awesome. I prefer Supra and Element shoes tho

bonudǝd i'm not white boy...

bonudǝd no*

Bopper what are ballys?

OG MikeBz These aren't really white boy: www.kicksonfire.com/wp-content/uplo...

bonudǝd i don't even know

Bopper ^ those are cool

bonudǝd yeah...i'm no white boy

NaughtyHaughty says AHHHHHHH "THROWS HANDS UP" STARTS TO SING......... CALIFORNIA LOVE........

bonudǝd Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness

NaughtyHaughty says The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex

bonudǝd We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat the state where ya never find a dance floor empty

OG MikeBz What do you mean by that? Doesn't mean 2 shit cents...

bonudǝd WHITE MOMENT!!!

OG MikeBz .... Wtf are you talking about? Are you on some dope trip?

jasmin. bahahah

NaughtyHaughty says LMFAO @ white moment haha

bonudǝd damn nigga, you're the only one that don't get it

OG MikeBz I get the idea, but.....why?

bonudǝd why what?

AkoSiMr.Pogi says I'm still laughing at the white moment <----(this would be the man behind the blog himself)

OG MikeBz thinks

this is turning racial.....

now for the test afterwards:

If you had to guess, which one of these posters committed the "white moment"?---

If you guessed OG MikeBz, you're correct-- and for extra credit I want you to point out all his white moments, this one I'll leave you to grade yourselves...

I don't mean to alienate this one guy, he really just happened to be the most pertinent example of "White moments" lately. I feel on a whole white people can start working together to help lessen the amount of white moments, or at least learn to laugh at them when they happen.

If you find yourself in a "White Moment" the steps for proceeding are:

• Recognize when and where the moment went from a regular discussion to a "White Moment"
• State something similar to the following "I just had a White Moment"
• Apologize for the "White Moment" to the other people in the discussion
• Move on
• Do not repeat!

If you don't follow these steps there are some more guidelines to follow as well:

• Allow people to call you out on the "White Moment"-- you deserve it
• Don't get mad-- you were the one who went all white
• Laugh along-- white moment are usually never over anything serious, so chill out and enjoy the moment of accidental humor.
• Don't follow up your "White Moment" with another one, you're just asking for trouble and you'll only wind up angrier.
• Do not confuse people calling out your "White Moment" as racism, that's just another "White Moment" and you wind up ruining the fun for everyone by pulling the race card at the wrong time and you wind up alienating and offending the other white people near you as well.

If you still don't understand "White Moments"-- then you are in fact having a "White Moment", so that should help explain it some more.

I was originally going to say that this whole thing was in jest and was not meant to come off racist or anything like that, but then realized that if you don't realize this is partially in jest, and not meant to come off racist, and is meant to be a humorous education-- then you are probably still caught in a "White Moment" and you probably need to read this over again.

This week the trend...

was to ignore my blog and return again and pretend like nothing happened, until week repeats and it starts again.

...yeah, that's supposed to be a play off a Relient K song...and is probably just as cheesy written as when I wrote it in my head.

So basically-- I failed.

I know I had said "daily blog blah blah blah" but looking back I think maybe I shouldn't have chosen to start working on my daily on my Spring Break, but I digress.

My week was just really busy in the weirdest most unsocial ways-- I slept a lot, I ate a lot, and I saw my friends a lot-- almost a little too much for my liking.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but I really can only take so much crazy at one time.

I met up with my best friend to do the straightest thing possible, we went to the mall and I helped him pick out formal wear for a wedding. Whooooo hypermasculinity for the win! It actually was pretty fun though, we don't get to see each other a lot so I'll take any concessions to have some guy time. We went to a diner later though and I had to hang out with his new unsufferable friend from college, she was actually really annoying and was just "scene" enough to be condescending.

I'd like to say I have nothing again scene kids, emo kids, goth kids, whatever-- but most of the time I'm really annoyed by the subculture who enjoys those labels, and for those of you how understand...thank you, and for those of you who don't-- we clearly can't be friends hahaha.

I spent most of the rest of the week meeting up with my friends Jonah, Fagell, and Jess-- we're like the original Musketeers, because most people know that there are actually not three musketeers, but there are actually 4 (d'Artagnan FTW!)

Last night was my friend Jonah's birthday party that was organized by yours truly, and my friend Fagell. Let's just say it's probably not a good idea for us to ever form a professional catering service or party planning biz because it would go to hell really fast. It turned out okay with a few minor mishaps along the way-- the frosting turned out more like a disgusting glaze, the glaze wound up sliding off the cake (well, it was really a giant cookie, Jonah doesn't like cake-- which is why I'm not always sure how we're friends when we're opposites) while I was moving it to the fridge, we wound up getting semi-lost, we wound up forgetting to call people and scrambling to assemble, and we wound up losing some of the party foods along the way (AKA we kept eating them because we had gotten so busy we forgot to eat.)

The night went pretty well, but I probably should have kept an eye on the drinks that Jonah was making, I'll defend that I thought it was just orange juice and raspberry ginger ale, but from how messed up I was when I got home-- I'm starting to think otherwise.

I don't remember much of last night once I got home, I just know I said goodnight to my mom and wound up on the playroom couch trying to sit upright. So if anyone knows what I did last night and wants to help me out-- I'd be much appreciated, I'm going to assume I was a bit of a dumbass last night hahaha.

I go back to school tomorrow so tonight is a bittersweet thing, especially with everything that happened with my dad. I hate leaving my family for such weird intervals, but I don't miss the freedom I get from school so I'm going to live up being at school for the next 7 weeks before coming home again for the summer.

Mum's heading back with foodage soon so I believe we're going to have an epic night of breakfast for dinner, Twilight DVD watching, and then a late night showing of December Boys for myself-- so I'll check you guys later.

Not So Manic Monday-ish

Today was the official start of Spring Break, so I celebrated it in the way that any good college student would:

I slept until noon.

Surprisingly despite all outward appearances, I'm not really the type of guy to sleep until noon I just *look* like a slacker. Then again, this isn't too surprising given that I stayed up until about 4:23AM before unceremoniously passing out with my laptop on my chest.

For the typical Monday I'm used to, I'd say this was a really good change of pace given the fact this weekend was craaaaaaaaazy... and I really mean crazy, I'm still waiting for it to have been a dream.

I got back to my parents' house on Friday and basically from there I have been coping in a weird hellish reality, it's only just now that it seems to be slowing down.

I'm not really going to beat around the bush-- this weekend was the biggest bipolar rollercoaster of utter crap and then by the end of it everything really started to look up again--thank god.

I came home to have everything in my life changed and drastically at that. These past few weeks at school have already been hell so I've been a little too stressed to realize the things that were happening under my nose which I'm both grateful for and at the same time pretty shaken by how much can happen.

About 2 weeks ago my dad woke up one morning with floaters in his eyes and shook it off. He's never been one to trust doctors, so much so that he only just started going back regularly this year after almost 7 years without being looked at. Given the fact it's been seven years I'm not surprised that on top of everything that happened my dad has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a series of other heart related problems-- but it's still a lot to accept that he's not invincible anymore. The doctors started him on a few new drug therapies to get him healthy again, but they never mentioned what was going to happen next. Over the next few days he'd apparently been noticing some weird stuff happening-- his heart beating faster, more floaters, twitching, and a lack of focus to his sight.

Finally one of these days my dad woke up to realize his eyesight in one of his eyes was completely gone.

Fast forward a little until my arrival home and I find that my dad has been seeing a number of specialists, doctors, therapists, you name it--he's been to visit them.

From what I've been told her suffered a stroke in his eye, the clot that dislodged caused severe retinal damage (see: Retinal Vein Occlusion). The doctors have given us a million little things from the medical standpoint, but none from the personal standpoint.

Basically my dad is legally blind now, he's never going to regain the sight in that eye, and we've been so blandly told that he could lose sight in the other eye, he could lose the functionality of the one eye he has (see: glass eye) and we're not sure what this means for the financial future of this family-- and yet at least we have that fact, we're a family.

I hate being the super serious guy about this, depression has never sat attractively on me, so I'm going to try and not talk too much more about this-- but I just needed to get this off my chest and to dispense some advice because it's the best I can do with this experience.

If I've learned anything it's about appreciating your parents, your family, your friends-- all the people in your life who matter. Get to know these people in your life, because you never know when you're going to lose them, I got lucky in the case of my dad, but given the nature of his health it could have gone so much worse. So really, if you're reading this and you have a parent, sibling, grandparent, whatever-- whoever matters to you... don't take them for granted because you never know when those tomorrows run out.

Also to anyone who was there for me through this-- thank you, it might not be much in the case of the content of words, but then again-- I've never been the most eloquent speaker when it came to things like this. It really means a lot to have the people that I've listened to and advised finally turning the tables on me-- go figure, I can give advice with the best of them but can't take it *ironic*

Now it's 5:50PM and I'm watching NCIS waiting for my dad to come home *exciting!life*

Hopefully the rest of the week improves, but for now... I'm back to lazy *retreats to cave*

-Pax

Holy Crap-- This Is a Blog!!!

You're correct, over exaggerated title... this is a blog!

Basically this is my new daily blog for a few reasons:

• I've had some stuff happen lately and instead of going crazy I'm just going to try and convert it into humor/commentary.
  
• As much as I like Not So Abroad Amerikano, I don't have a lot of motivation or topics to cover right now, but I still want to update something.
• Multiply and Livejournal are good for more social interactions, this I can more or less allow to be viewed at my discretion.
• My family is eccentric--and sometimes I need to escape them, and blogging/writing has always helped me make sense of that stuff
  
• Pax+Blogging= It just makes sense...

I should be updating this blog everyday... or at least every week day and I'll probably blog one of the weekend days to just recap anything that happens, because the people who know me personally know-- a lot of stuff happens to me.

In fact, I'll probably update today... when it is in fact today and not 2:03AM on a Monday morning-- whoooooooo Spring Break