The Call

Honor, Courage, Commitment.

If you have any prior knowledge of the military you'll know that those are the core values of the United States Marine Corps.

Semper Fidelis.

The Corps' latin motto that means "Always Faithful", which to my understanding usually means faithful to the Corps, faithful to your brothers and sisters in the Corps, and faithful to your country and defending them even if it means giving your life in the process.

I'd always believed in these values growing up, and I'm not even sure where I learned them, but these ideals have resonated me for as long as I can remember.

My mom jokes that I was born old, other people have joked that in a past life I must have served in the military because there's just something about me. No one has ever been able to place exactly what that something is, but there must be some indelible mark that I can't see.

Something about the Marines has always attracted me, and solely the Marines.

My grandfather was in the Army when he was only a little younger than I am now and I always thought it was a little too brutish and unskilled for me. The other branches of the military never attracted me, there was something missing whenever I'd see the troops visit out school for the Memorial Day celebration (it was fitting that I went to Memorial High School, probably part of the reason I have some military beliefs like someone who went to a Catholic school has religious beliefs.)

The Marine however always stood out, the way he stood, the way he presented himself, there was something about him that you could see from a mile away. Maybe this was the same something that everyone has been able to see in me, I'll never be sure, but all I know.

I remember telling my mom how I wanted to serve in the military instead of attend college. Needless to say she was less than enthused. The short version of what happened is that she said no, however the longer story is much more amusing, at least it would be if it weren't real life.

My mom is my greatest protector, and the biggest threat to someone who tries to hurt me. I feel bad for the recruiters that had to call my house, I can only imagine the things my mother said to them while I eavesdropped from the upstairs landing. She ripped up every packet that came addressed to "Mr. Edward J Paxton" from the various armed services around the country.

I used to get upset that she was preventing me from my destiny, preventing me from living a life of courage, honor, commitment; even preventing me from being faithful.

Now that I get to look back with older eyes and a greater maturity though, I think I should thank her. So here it goes mum, thank you for making the decisions that I was too young to intelligently make at that time myself.

I might not be a Marine, and I might never get a chance, but that doesn't change who I am.

I still have that something in me, I still believe strongly in living my life with honor, courage, and commitment, and I found a more applicable meaning for "Semper Fidelis".

Who knows, maybe someday I'll get a chance to serve my country, whatever country that is in the future, but life has found a way of finding me a purpose.

I used to regret going to college, but that was before I got there. I now realize that there's all things in our lives that we have to give up. I was told that a call to serve the military was like a call to serve God and that very few people could hear it, but for those that do it's like a bell tolling until the point it almost annoys you to ignore it.

This is true, there is some type of pull, some type of call to attention, call to order, and I can tell you that I've heard it, or at least I did.

As I get older I've realized that I have a higher calling and it's not to God, or country, or even myself...but it's when you realize you have a higher purpose with someone else rather than something.

I'm not sure what my future holds with this, maybe someday I'll get another change to prove myself and wear that uniform, but if I don't at least I know I made the right choice and I have no regrets.

Well maybe I have one regret, but there's always Halloween =P