Won't You Let Me Go Down in My Dreams

I can't sleep, and for once I don't care.

I'm not sure how to ever eloquently say this, I guess there will never be the words that make the most sense and say what I need to-- but that's not going to stop me from trying.

I can never say enough how important my mother is to me, and I never will get enough of that. As I get older my appreciation for her seems to grow infinitely more, which for those of you who know the relationship I have with my mom, it seems impossible to find more respect for that amazing woman.

I am very much a momma's boy-- I'm not ashamed of that because if anything my mother taught me it was that I am much more independent than I have ever given myself credit for.

I rarely want to call myself a man, it feels weird, but for this realization alone I'll throw aside my cringing.

I am a better man because of my mother, she raised me to be everything I am today-- without her Pax as he stands today would not exist.

My 20th birthday is on Sunday and everyone is making it wrongly about me, it's not about me-- that day was never about me.

My birth was unconventional at best, and I wonder now how my mother coped as well as she did, 27 and a mother for the first time dealing with things that most parents should never have to deal with-- ironically probably lying sleepless in much the same manner, just 20 years in the past.

I was born almost exactly 2 months premature, which means that I live now with a whole host of problems that make every day a struggle, but my mom never gave up to give me a better life-- never gave up wanting me to seem like every normal kid.

Now I don't know about you, but I think she did a pretty damn good job at putting the puzzle pieces together again and she does it all thanklessly.

The only thing she ever complains about now is that the only thing to watch on TV was the Tiananmen Square massacres and how no matter how many channels she cycled through she was stuck with the same thing. It seems ominous to watch tanks rumble towards the Forbidden City while waiting for your son to be born, it sounds like a good metaphor-- but doesn't seem to favor me much.


Everyone is so busy celebrating me, no one takes time to slow down and think about my mom who was expecting her first son to be born in August. I never quite made it, I guess being a Leo never suited me.

On Sunday the tradition will repeat, my mom will wake me up with presents and usher me down to the table, hovering like the momma bear she is as she waits for the reactions to my gifts. This day won't be about her, most people will forget her role in it at all.

She won't know that while I'm blowing out my candles, and failing to do so-- I'll be thinking of all those things I failed miserably at, and yet she still supported. All those swimming lessons where I was just too ADD to learn, all the baseball games where I got hit by the ball more than actually hitting it back, and even the driver's education class I begged to be in-- 4 years later she is still driving me around due to what she would call my "not so epic win", she can't bring herself to ever call me an epic fail.

She won't know that while she's watching me unwrap my gifts I'll be too busy thinking about how while we didn't always have everything, she somehow managed to make us feel like we were lacking nothing.

While she's watching my dad hopeless hack up my birthday cake, she doesn't know that I'm thinking of every time she played the "good mom card" and suffered through all my food experiments while I was learning to cook-- including the undercooked pizza, the solid cake (I'm still not sure how it was that solid), or the grease fire I started in our toaster which she just brushed off with ease only a mom can muster.

There's a joke she used to tell me when life would be unfair that went something like "you can be three things in this life: rich, handsome, and intelligent-- and God made you handsome and intelligent, it's a shame"-- even though I know she's lying, she never took into account the fourth thing I am...

Lucky.

So while everyone else is wishing me a Happy Birthday for effortlessly surviving another year, I'll be thinking yet again of another way to thank her-- and maybe, just maybe the next 365 days will help me come to a better conclusion.

Something Vaguely Inspired By Light Blue Circles

Usually I start my blog posts with a hint of witticism and sardonics but today's post is not for that-- this time I really have something to say.

Recently I've discussed ideologies a lot, mainly religion and all things related to that. Most people who have talked to me for more than ten minutes know a little bit about my religious upbringing, since it doesn't take someone too long to be caught up on the lack thereof an organized belief structure.

The question has been coming up a lot lately, the one that has always haunted me in conversations, I almost feel like I suffer an ignorance for never choosing a firm belief.

I've realized now it doesn't matter.

I'm in no way saying that beliefs don't matter, they do, and very much so. In the history of human life on the planet beliefs seem to be the most constant thing. People live and die for these beliefs, they build their lives on them, fight wars for them and defend their stand on this Earth for the sake of what they believe-- so yes, belief is important.

I don't believe you even necessarily have to believe anything, I wouldn't ask that, I don't care if what you believe is completely insane-- but what I just hope is that people learn to question what they believe.

Question does not always mean to doubt, and I don't ask you to ever doubt what you believe, rather question what you believe to reinforce your conviction. Beliefs shouldn't be black and white, you should be willing to accept the changes in the world around you-- but don't let your convictions be dulled by misunderstanding, make sure what you believe is truly what you wish to believe and that should be what matters.

It seems like lately the discussions have been so pointed, the blame always has to be cast upon people for some reason. The staunchly religious are castigated for all the people who are deemed as crazy who have faith, and perfectly good people are punished for not believing in God by those who do.

Once upon a time science was something that we used to castigate with religion, labeling those people as heretics, and now we're seeing quite the opposite-- science is being used to discredit religion. If you can see this irony, I really appreciate your thought process, and if you don't-- damn, I'm alone.

I had this discussion with my fiancee the other day, and it was only when I looked it over that I actually felt like I'd finally unearthed that part of me-- so I'll share an amended version of what I had said to her.

"Religious" is a weird description for me because people aren't a religion, they just have one and you shouldn't be labeled by something like that. It's superficial to say someone is religious because there's so much more to content of character. I think atheists are just as crazy as anyone with a theism because it's just as stupid as labeling someone by race or ethnicity, just believe in what you believe and let that be enough. By classifying someone as their religion you're just not getting to which know them-- it shouldn't be what defines the type of reactions or personality traits you have. it's just one of those things about you that is part of you. I don't like those debates either solely because everything is a little crazy--plus, I like to tell people that sometimes crazy works. Did you know that the common bumblebee can't aerodynamically fly? it defies all the logic of physics, they've used science time and time again and found no logical explanation. In this case, the bumblebee doesn't know it can't fly so it just keeps going. I feel like faith in anything is like the bumblebee, you just have to believe it works and don't let people tell you otherwise. People are so quick to blanket these terms and I just think it doesn't matter if you have a religion or not. I will respect if you do because you see the things in life that I can't yet, because lord knows science has been wrong before and will continue to be wrong. We basically know nothing, the whole world is one giant discovery in the making so in the meantime all you should be is yourself, whatever that is. It doesn't matter what the people before you have done, or what people like you do and will do-- just be a good person, be a humanist and let nothing else matter.

My name is Edward James Paxton, I think that sometimes there are things that neither science or religion can explain-- I believe the bumblebee has the right idea, I'm an Agnostic Humanist-- what are you?

I Might Not Party Like Asher Roth, But I Still Love College (BEDA #20)

Today is the day where Pax does nothing for BEDA besides share some of his screenplay...so let's go.

**I can share none of the context or much of the backstory because it's still a WIP, but try and enjoy if you can**



METT (V.O.)
In a weird way it’s like starting over again. Like Kindergarten. None of us know each other, but we’re expected to make friends without the help of mommy or daddy for the first time...just all over again, and with more alcohol and swearing.

Mett props his feet up slightly on the empty chair in front of him and continues to scan the room. He soon makes eye contact with Isabella who sees him. In a panic he quickly looks down.

Isabella walks over to their row and motions to the empty seat still beside Mett.

ISABELLA
So we meet again, gayer version of Matt.

Mett chuckles and sits up slightly.

METT
It’s...

ISABELLA
Mett, I know, I remember.

Mett smiles and nods.

-------------------------------
METT (V.O.)
I don’t remember much of Dean Chambers speech. Partially because he talked a lot of bullshit, and partially because all I could focus on was the girl next to me who smelled like strawberries.

Mett looks over at her again quickly, once again looking away when she catches his eye.

METT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And she probably thinks I’m some creepy stalker by now.

When he looks over again he notices she has looked away from him in much the same manner.

He smiles a happy, crooked smile and props his chin on his hand.

METT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Or maybe not.

--------------------------------------------------

METT (V.O.)
I’m tempted to call him Louis, but I don’t think he’ll get the reference.
--------------------------------------------------
METT (CONT’D)
My iPod just decided to call it quits.

Paul frowns understandingly.

METT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
It’s sad how the teen population views technological tragedy to just as crushing as something that well, actually matters.
---------------------------------------------------

METT (CONT’D)
I’m Mett

Isabella takes his hand slowly.

ISABELLA
Matt?

Mett laughs nervously

METT
No, Mett-- M-E-T-T... Mett.

Isabella eyes his name tag for a moment and then nods in understanding.

ISABELLA
So then like Matt, only gayer.

Mett stares blankly at the girl, realizing she doesn’t look like she’s kidding.

METT
Yeah...it’s a little something like that.

**did anyone notice the catchphrase to Paxomania thrown in there? if you did... I hartz you, very few people know this is where that came from, even before it was written.**

------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the door can be heard as Mett is standing in his now noticeably empty room. The sound of his parents’ dialogue can be heard fading down the hall.

METT (V.O.)
I can still remember now what it felt like the day they left, I don’t ever even think I told them, but I cried.

Mett wipes his eyes and sniffs

METT (CONT’D)
But only a little...

**based on actual Paxist behavior**
-------------------------------------------------------

KRISTEN
TTYL.

She waves happily and walks away as Mett waves back stupidly.

METT (V.O.)
I’m not exactly sure what I’ve gotten myself into.

Mett stands from his chair, removing his iPod from his pocket and placing the earbuds in his ears. He grabs his plates and slowly follows the path that Kristen had taken to leave.

[”Why Can’t We Be Friends”-WAR plays softly on his iPod]

He looks back at Isabella who is now talking animatedly to a guy who is standing at the end of her table. Shaking his head he turns the volume up.

METT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Damnit. How the hell do I even have this song?
---------------------------------------------------------

The rest should be done this weekend, so look out for it in a few weeks after that

**I can't share it until it has been graded, but I promise when it has you guys can see it**

Insert Romeo and Juliet Pun (BEDA #19)

Happy 4-20...I don't give a fuck hahaha

Today is my DGAF day, so if I punt a fetus in the middle of this, don't get offended, I need a nap-- or possibly a clone (I can has Pax.2?)

I guess until I get a .2 I have to do this...

muddafecker...

So in lieu of having a witty song title, I have actually brought my never favorite cover to share.

And before you ask, I think Taylor Swift is an unattractive hack-- but the lyrics were pretty good, so I'm not complaining, I just think country= incest...and not even the good kind =P

Blaaaaaaa...what else?

It rained today, I have done some iLife work, and cast my Mett Grey.

Perfect...right?

I'm still trying to cast the perfect Isabella, but it's coming slowly.

Spring Fling is this week (see related: my friends are douches)...we get to see N.E.R.D... not as fun as normal Nerds, but just as cool.

Riddle for guys:

what's got 4 letters and 6 figures:

a nerd...

Not really a riddle I just lawled because someone told me that and why I should be proud of being a nerd...

I am not only proud, I am Nerdfighter proud.

Blaaaaaaa... Nerdfighters... today being 4-20... we can has EBO? si o no?

also I'm still reading Paper Towns (and getting food all in it, I have sad Margo and she's sad because she's covered in bit of egg and mayo)

And now I'm done...

*punts baby*

Looking for BEDAs #17 and #18 (the first fail of the BEDA experience)

My fiancee is psychic--

we had been joking a few nights ago about how I would be busy for BEDA #17 and therefore was going to be titled "This is May, Pax is busy (BEDA #17)-- well let's just say in hindsight--

Pax was busy on BEDA 17 and therefore did not post his BEDA because he was...distracted.

If you follow me on Plurk, you know I was in an off mood-- and off mood being that my mind had checked out for the night.

If you don't believe me-- then you should believe the couple who can be quoted as respectively saying:

"I'm sure larer we'll lawls at how wrng this is...but reight now I can't even see the keys ket aklone understand what I'm typing... sorry love...this makes no sense at all... " (the wonders of when Pax is tired)

"but hopefulyy we'll both get the sleep we need..." (where May makes up words that are so close, yet so far)

I didn't forget to BEDA so much is that I was far too mentally intoxicated to post, that's the sign of true love-- you make each other drunk without even trying (I'm sure this is borne from some cheesy pickup line, which is why to me it came off ang cheesy)

I also don't really have much to post today, because today was merely me recovering from a night like last night...

I swear I wasn't drunk-- I'm just that retarded when my mind is on a million things that it shouldn't be.

I believe someone regretfully said horny, and I lawled--for anyone who knows why I lawled... then congratulations, you know how Pax is and how Pax isn't, you win a prize.

and now time for food...

Fritos, TaB, and Mountain Dew= My Dream Date (BEDA #16)

I almost forgot to BEDA today, so this is already starting off as a fail-- I don't even have a catchy song... no...wait, I'll come up with one now

There... tada... catchy song title...

*I know that 90% of the nerds probably just jizzed themselves, sorry...after all, WWJCD?*

So you know the drill-- name the song, or the artist, or if you're a nerd, feel free to just jizz yourself because you're not fooling anyone anyways.

Today was one of those really nerdy days, which is nothing new-- everyday in the life of Pax is a nerdy day. Today however was the nerdiest of them all, at least in a long time because I can't say today was my nerdiest day... just the one with the most nerd frequency.

Outside was the highlight of Greek Week, their semi-Greek games was today meaning that anyone who was anyone was outside watching the festivities-- I was holed up in my room listening to the music and reading, because that's about how involved I wanted to be [/socially_awkward:true]

So while anyone who was anyone was outside dancing to Poker Face, I was in the shitty dining hall...hooray for substandard food and the smell of bleach everywhere.

Okay, so the food isn't really that bad, but when you're born and bred of 18 solid years of your mum's cooking, 4 semesters with college food is bound to change your taste buds a little bit. I have eaten things that I didn't even know existed (delicious Seafood Newburg for the win) and I have eaten things that I'm sure could have eaten me back once upon a time (I think it was a burrito, but one can never be too sure...)

Today since it was basically dead I settled for a home favorite: hard boiled egg sandwich with mayo (like an egg salad sandwich basically, minus anything that makes it seasoned or salad like).

It was only when I looked around that I realized the dining hall was full with other people who were basically stereotypically in the same circle as me. Let's face it, I hate to label nerds, but we all know (especially nerds, geeks, and dorks) when we see one of our own kind.

There was maybe 10 of us (in an establishment that seats several hundred) and everybody I looked at had some of the more iconic geek traits.

We all know what these means:
glasses.
video game consoles.
books.
braces.
strange food choices.
graphic/themed t-shirts that amplify the nerdiness.

Even I was an offender today with my weird egg on wheat sandwich (I thought it was tasty, but was poorly crafted and looked stepped on), I had on my glasses, my hearing aids were on blast, I was toggling between my phone and my PSP, and I was mopping food particles of my copy of Paper Towns, while wearing an officially licensed Harry Potter Chudley Cannons shirt.

And it was in that moment that I just smiled and kept reading.

I love being a nerd/geek/dork, and I love being around them because they are unintrusive to personal space.

Unless we are counting glompage...and then yes... gnorks love to glomp because we just can't hug, we must politely body rape you with the equivalent of an "XD" face on.

also being a gnork allows me to enjoy this stuff... which I will share with you now.







Nerdiness for the win

Disclaimer though: these churches are not really places, no worries-- your children will not be raped at church (with at least 70% certainty)...

and that ladies and gents is why I'm going to hell =P

They used to call us names now they want our autograph...(BEDA #15)

The lyric above was from one of my favorite songs in middle school-- you could call it one of the Pax essential songs for understanding my childhood, and it's a less severe motto that I live by now.

I'm not as elitist as I was at 13, but I'm still proud to be who I am, which is really the most I learned in school at that age anyways.

I'm going to cheat a little and give you a hint to the song because it's by this same band, and this song has been stuck in my head too



I actually used to think the above song was going to be the result of all my relationships-- because I used to be a cynic and a super geek (which should be a testament to how much I have improved)

I actually found a notebook when I was home last that had a very angrily scribbled lyric from the above song-- when I get home next I'll have to scan it so everyone can laugh at how dramatic I was when I was 12 and 13.

Today I'll give it one last try
and then I know I'll wonder why
I did it to myself once again
I saw your boyfriend he's 6'3"
Quarterback on varsity
the football players love to torture me
So I'm feeling like I'm not fitting in
I know that I'm not fitting in with you
And your stuck-up friends
I GET THE POINT

I look back now and laugh a little at the kid I was, I'm not so much different now but I think I've learned from a lot of my immaturity at that time-- also I've stopped going to Good Charlotte shows as well, which might have improved some of it.

To explain to all the younger people-- Good Charlotte was like a more badass version of the Jonas Brothers (albeit not the best comparison, but you get the point). They were on every poster, and t-shirt, and button, and had CDs dropping-- and then they kind of faded into oblivion.

If anything I can see this happening to the Jonas Brothers in two years, so don't be shocked by this-- the stereotypes you lead only last so long. In this case it was as soon as those 14 year old "rebellious" Good Charlotte fans realized that there's no sense in bitching and moaning about the kids who used to pick on you in high school when you're 25 years old.

I've been thinking a lot about high school lately which isn't so ironic-- however what is ironic is the frequency that high school appears in the music industry.

It gets hailed as the best time of your life/the worst time of your life depending on who you ask and I've realized now that I'm 2 years out of high school-- it's not really either.

I don't have much fond nostalgia about high school, but if you ask my best friend Ace he'll tell you about the parties he went to or the girls he slept with.

and I can tell you...

well I can tell you...

*thinks*...

I can tell you what was on TV, what books I read, what movies I saw, the concerts I went to, and I can tell you about how every day after I got my college acceptance letter I slowly went insane stuck in this weird hell hole. I can give no good advice for people who are in high school, I didn't survive it any better than most-- in fact I had a nervous break down sometime in Spring of 2007 and had to visit an in-school therapist who believed the best treatment for me was going to be behavior modifier drugs.

Needless to say I didn't listen to the offer to be medicated and realized there was one sure fire cure for what was going wrong.

College...

really, that was all it took... heading out to college stabilized me.

Getting away from my friends and family and the kids who tripped me in the halls, cheated off my tests, and threw things at me... basically they fixed every mental flaw.

I started reading this week and found that John Green has helped me find some of that old school nostalgia for times gone by, even if it's a little forced-- it makes me feel good to think that high school was something worth remembering and writing about.

Some people say they see themselves in Colin Singleton or Margo Roth Spiegelman...

I'm more a Q Jacobsen...and that's going to always be enough for me...

DFTBA guys...

and also, one more song-- just for nostalgia's sake...





^this was everything good I remember about high school. I wouldn't trade it for anything better.

Find Your Identity Soon and Let the Channel Change You (BEDA #14)

Not gonna lie, as I started this "I'll Make Love To You" started playing and I'm lawling my ass off at that.

For anyone who knew me in October/November 2007 know that sometimes I was a bit of a drunken naked panda...

For anyone who didn't know me then... be thankful that I don't do that anymore, because I can't remember a good 4 month span...aspartame...it'll fuck you up...

You know the drill by now, the song is a title... rather scratch that and reverse it-- the title is a song and Pax is a little tired after a weird day.

Today isn't even really my busy day it's just weird and spread so much that I get too much of a lag in my day. Computers, Chem, and Cinema-- I just realized now that Wednesday's classes all begin with C, I think it makes me a nerd that I'm amused by that.

I never remember my ComSci class because it's before my brain is awake, my brain usually wakes up sometime after the class has ended and I'm usually halfway through my breakfast by the time I've realized my feet have brought me someplace to get food. And as for the other two classes-- eh... that's about all I have to say about that.

But as usual... my disclaimer:

College is really awesome-- blah blah blah blah apply and do your best and don't do drugs... good enough for you?

This week I'm really not feeling my BEDA, I'm sorry guys, it's just that school has been so crazy and I feel like I'm running on less than empty.

Hopefully this weekend will yield something other than me being unceremoniously passed out on a pile of school books-- which yes, I have done several occasions this week... it's a sad nerdy reality when you wake up with notebook spirals pressed into your forehead.

However to steal a cue from the fiveawesomegirls: today is awesome because I had White Castle...

and yes as in Harold and Kumar go to... not as in "I have an austere household that is colored in white".

Alright, so they were microwaveable because the nearest White Castle establishment is over an hour away, but even still these freezer burgers taste like the real thing (which I've only had twice), and they were the same size and cheaper than the regular White Castle sliders-- we'll call this the win for the day.

Today is however now awesome because it is Greek Week-- which is some type of fraternity/sorority thing were, well to be honest I'm not really sure what happens but for some reason it gives the frat guys to be even bigger jerks.

I'm going to make the disclaimer now that not all frats guys or sorority girls are like this, but it just so happens that these kids come from a different background that I was used to and therefore are only in fraternities for the sake of once again establishing a status quo where people are meant to feel inadequate. In most cases I respect fraternities for what they are intended for, but if it's for girls, drinking, and ridiculous hazing-- no thank you.

Anyways, Greek Week here is basically an excuse to see backwards hats, polo shirts, pucca shell necklaces, and sandals everywhere you look-- and the jock mentality has come back full force. I had some guy in a Sigma Nu shirt run up past me and basically scattered all my Dante materials everywhere and screamed
"GREEK WEEK MOTHERFUCKERS!" and high fived some guy in a likewise purple Sigma Nu shirt who then made the oral sex gesture at me and walked off...

College sometimes sucks too kids, keep in mind that sometimes you can just get a job out of high school and be just as well adjusted...

^these are actually lies, I'm partially joking-- just not about the frat guy, just hopefully you get into a school where douchebags don't run amuck.

So yes, now I'm getting ADD because my YM is blipping orange at me like crazy so... yeah, going to go deal with my "fans" =P

BEDA #13--Pax broke his laptop...

So this is short...I'll explain later...I'm a dumbass...damnit

What's Your Sign? Hey, I Think You Know A Friend of Mine... (BEDA #12)

I'm running late on my BEDA today because I am ADD and not exactly in the mood to be descriptive and awesome, but I'm going to try... bleh...

The title is a song lyric, and so easy at that... in fact-- if you get it wrong I will be tempted to eat your face... quite violently out of rage, anger, and boredom...

Today's blog is a bit more of a bloggy like blog than my other blogs because my bloggy brain is all blogged out for right now (6 words with the root of blog, beat that hahaha)

I was supposed to do work today... I said it over and over again that I was supposed to do work today... I was terribly busy and had a lot of work to do-- it was supposed to take all day and I was just really busy with it all, I had it all planned.

I spent the day eating M&Ms...

I probably have diabetes now with how many M&Ms I have ingested

^ this is what college looks like-- it is not glamorous at all, it is not freedom, I am itchy, I have a stye, and I want someone to make me a sandwich [/whining]

But here's my disclaimer bit:

Kids... college is awesome...you should go... it's fun and you make a lot of friends! *cheesy lie smile*...

Fucking college... hahaha

Today wasn't all bad though, I just don't remember why it is awesome now because I'm waiting for my second wind and this is not it.

I guess today is awesome because I have a stye, but not because I'm a peeping tom-- so whooooooooooo for purity (ish). (if you're not Filipino, you probably didn't get that... my bad)

I'm supposed to be watching an Indian movie right now, but right now I just want to curl up and sleep, but when I've actually watched it I'll tell you how it is-- which I'm hoping the answer is fantastic or I might just give up for a bit.

I guess here is where I can dispense my college-ly advice...

just because something is cheap does not mean it is edible...

That burrito I had tasted like a sock, so I'm really just coping with that.

And then my Windows shuffle reminds me why everything is awesome...way to go shuffle, I was trying to complain and be emo-z... curse you.

I guess I'm going to go be lame now and watch Enchanted while I try and get my work done because I'm just about that lucky, and I don't want to ever forget that fact.



^This one's for you and me love...mahal kita

Just for this once I'll settle for being Robert =P

Shot Right Through Like a Bolt of Blue (BEDA #11)

So last night I had some really good inspiration for a BEDA, it was fantastic and I remember thinking to myself that tomorrow (AKA today's today) was going to be an amazing day to write. In short I was pumped, I even said to May that I was pumped to be inspired to right.

I also have a short-term memory problem, so well... cock it-- I forgot how to make it sound intelligent so now you're stuck with the brain goo that is Pax...

Name that tune time, you know the drill-- what's the above song, and to up the ante some more, do you know which video game it was featured in?

Probably not to be honest, and I think by now I do this more for my personal amusement of being witty than making it a game for you guys.

Today is Easter Sunday and in lieu of religious inspiration, I'm at least feeling creatively inspired today, which for a writer is about the same thing as Jesus rising from the dead [/sacrilegious]

So before I get shunned as a non believer... moving on...

I'm working on 3 stories now outside of iLife (which iLife news to follow, FYI)--

All three are untitled at the moment so you'll have to bear with me but here it goes:

I'm working on a modern adaptation of Dante's Divine Comedy, it's loosely based on it however and is merely just the main plot inspiring factor to it versus anything that resembles the classics of Dante. All I have right now is that it's set in high school-- which is enough to damn a movie, I know-- but I want to give this a shot.

After a very weird dream I had today I'm also working on a semi-fictionalized account of a Boston University archaeological dig that was conducted in 1900 in Jerusalem. (The event is real, I've been doing research all day to piece together my dream, that things that happened are what is fictionalized) (this will probably wind up as a shot story before anything else)

and I'm working on a screenplay/novel that was inspired by the 2006 Mark Reyes film, Eternity, if you've never heard of it then you are probably not Filipino and therefore I'm not shocked-- if you have heard of it, well that's that.

However with all these new ideas coming through, I have to say that iLife is becoming more and more of a burden-- I mean, I love it and everything but it feels more like a requirement now than something I was doing creatively.

iLife is due on April 30th, and I have 120 pages to write-- which isn't so bad in screenwriting language since 1 page is a little under a minute of dialogue, action, and staging-- but it's just sitting down and getting organized to write that has me going mental.

In short, wish me luck-- I need it muchly...

Also if you have any songs you'd like to suggest for my iLife plot, get back to me however you think most fit because I'm always looking for inspiring songs and at the very least if I can't fit a song in, I find one like it to capture the same mood.

Yes, I'm well aware I sound crazy to any non-writer, and to any writer you know that being a writer is basically like playing with an imaginary friend all day-- it's their story to tell, you're just the one telling it...

I swear I'm not mental *twitches*

This also takes me to my last pointless point of the day, but I've been asked this in a few places now so I'm just going to answer it:

Yes, I will hopefully be taking part in NaNoWriMo this year, but if I don't, don't hold it against me...

Honestly, my career is already writing, do you know how unrefreshing it is to tuck in after a day of writing and drafting a story, just to write and draft another? hahaha

So now that I've wasted more time writing something that is not for my school work, I should probably at least pretend to get on that-- I might just think of my dream some more because well, I'm Pax...but at least I'm fun *beams*

Stay tuned for tomorrows inspirational post about labels, and if all else fails I'll probably talk about something else entirely like mustard, unicorns, or post-it notes

Soup or Something Like It...

• I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
• I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
• I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
• I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
• I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
• I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.
• I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
• I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
• I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
• I'm SHORT, so I must be a MIDGET
• I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
• I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
• I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
• I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
• I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet.
• I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
• I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
• I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

...Wait...no...that's not right...

So Much For Headaches and Bad Luck Not Touching Me (BEDA #10)

Hello and welcome to another edition of "Pax Rambles About Nothing"-- I'm your host for this evening, Pax.

You know the drill by now, the song title is usually related to both my mood and is somehow adapted from a song, so here's the typical game of name that tune: What song am I listening to, or at the very least what band sings a song with some of these lyrics? (remember, it's like horseshoes, as long as you're close I'm not going to beam you with a horse shoe... at least I think that's how that goes...)

*sighs* Sometimes I wish I had epic intro music for things like this, but alas I do not.

Even if it's almost 3:30 in the afternoon I am in short feeling pretty god awful lazy and just want to go back to bed. Saturdays and myself are not friends, we're more like family-- I love Saturdays, but I don't always like them and sometimes want to slam the door in their face when they show up unexpectedly.

On another side note... I miss my fiancee today... *sad face*

I understand that it's Easter weekend and everything and I'm not meaning to be selfish, I know she needs to spend time with her family (and one of us needs to guarantee we're not going to hell), but it's still weird ending my nights without her and starting my mornings without her for now.

Mahal kita...

At least in her absence I've found a myriad of nerdy things to stimulate my mind for now, even if they are a little mindless within themselves.

I recently discovered Omegle through a mixture of 4Chan archives, YouTuber (mainly Alex Day AKA Nerimon), and fmylife.com

Basically the premise of Omegle is that you are completely anonymous, as is the person you are talking to you (so anonymous that it says "You" and "Stranger" when you are talking.

My mom always told me not to talk to strangers, but she never said anything about messing with them...

So basically this is what happens when Anonymous is allowed to have free reign on the Internet: Lucinda, Old Gregg references, and bestiality.

I've also been playing a lot of Street Fighter Alpha (designed for PS1 on my PSP) so far, and I have to say one thing about it.

Every time I hit Chun-Li, a little part of my soul dies...

...can't say the same for my special bar though...

But really, that's the one thing I never understood about Street Fighter is that it is one of the only fighting games from that time that had gender equality, but I'm not so sure that's a good thing...

There are only two female characters in the game, Chun-Li and Rose, and the rest are male.

And mind you, I understand that it's a game, but that doesn't mean I feel alright each time Ryu kicks Chun-Li in the face, it's probably as close as I'll ever get to domestic abuse.

It might really just be me, but I'm curious to ask you guys-- how do you feel about male characters hitting female characters in games, and this isn't the only game in which you can do that (ex. Grand Theft Auto, Tekken, Mortal Kombat, etc.). I don't think I'd have a problem with it were it not for the fact that some of these games are in fact games designed for all ages-- do you think kids would get the wrong message, or do you think it's just a game?

I'm not trying to be a game Nazi, I enjoy my video game violence just as much as the next Mountain Dew fueled game fiend, but I'd be curious is anyone else saw any controversy or need to add a warning to these games.

Speaking of game violence, for those of you who want to beat people up and not have to life a finger, you might enjoy My Brute, I'm on there as Paxomaniac (which no one is probably surprised about).

Basically you just name and design a character, and then watch it fight someone else's character-- you don't even have to life a finger, it's like watching cock (I know, teehee, cock...moving on...) fights, but instead it's little animated midgets fighting with melee weapons (or in my case, shurikens and battle axe for the win)

However if you're really in the mood you can play something a little more stimulating, the only catch is that it doesn't have random violence (boo!)...

But wait vaguely familiar internal monologue-- it helps a good cause.


Free Rice is a website sponsored by the United Nations and basically all you do is answer trivia questions to help supply impoverished areas with rice.

1 question right is 10 grains of rice...so basically after 10 questions you have donated a whole bowl of rice.

The best part is that if you get the question wrong you don't lose rice, but rather you are given the answer and the question will come up later for you to answer and you get another change to earn rice and learn something new.

The best part is that not only is it entertaining, but it helps you learn things and study topics, and on top of that it's helping people around the world with a simple click of the mouse.

No offense, but I think that's a reward that World of Warcraft can't bring you.

You can also choose different topics to be quizzed in which are:

ART

Famous Paintings

CHEMISTRY

Chemical Symbols (Basic)

Chemical Symbols (Full List)

ENGLISH

English Grammar

English Vocabulary

GEOGRAPHY

Identify Countries on the Map

World Capitals

LANGUAGE LEARNING

French

German

Italian

Spanish

MATH

Basic Math (Pre-Algebra)

Multiplication Table

(^this was taken directly from the website)

My thought is that you're already online, what's 5,10,15 minutes out of your day to help someone and have fun along the way?

But if you want to go on a raid, more power to you-- tell me how it feels getting up to a level 70 mage when people around the world are starving... *guilt tripping you*

No worries... I have all day... I can wait...

But now that I've gone all Pax-tivist on you guys for now, I'm going to figure out what I can do for myself right now and treat this dang blasted headache-- definitely waiting for these April showers to be over...

Put 8 Seconds on the Clock, We're Going Into Overtime...(BEDA #9)

Since it's now officially 7:41PM (at the start of writing this), I can wish everyone a good evening-- unless you live in another timezone and then well... I fail *sighs*

Today was the start of my lazy weekend in which I did absolutely nothing of consequence... whooooo for lazy days.

Well actually, this is not entirely true, I in fact did a lot of things that I enjoy muchly in my Paxley brain.

Oh, hold on before I continue-- the song title is a corruption of the song with song of the lyrics reworded in a fitting way so it's time for my favorite time of BEDA *drumroll*... didja guess the song?

I'm going to pause here and assume none of you guessed the song, and that's okay-- I still love you (unless of course I specified I don't love you and then in that case, GTFO my blog)

but now moving on about today:

• discussed immortality on Plurk
• Pondered building a modified car that employed a PS2 controller/modified computer keyboard instead of your typical steering column (<---- Paxmay is on this shit, don't worry)
• Showed my militant pride for being a PC over a Mac (what can I say, Vista is shit, but it's never truly let me down too much)
• Emailed the DH of the CS Department to see how they can help me become a CS minor.
  

Also right now while typing this I am watching Banned from the Bible I (and I plan to watch II as soon as this autoplay is finished).

With this Easter weekend coming up I've been pondering religion a lot lately, which is something I do more often then I'd like to admit.

I hadn't originally intended to make this my view on religion, but I guess it's going that way, but I swear-- this shouldn't offend anyone.

I'm not a religious person, I'm going to admit that and I've admitted it time and time again, and I'm not ashamed of this fact because I'm pleased my parents gave me a choice-- however I'm not completely proud of the fact that I have no religion to even defy or reject.

My father is a Catholic, my mother is a Protestant, and on top of not being able to agree what they wanted to be, they also decided they were going to let their children choose a religion that they wanted to. The only problem with this idea was that my parents have always very readily castigated religion and therefore wanting to pursue a religion in my family would probably be a taboo to them like being gay would be (though my parents would accept that I was gay, just not if I wanted to believe in God-- ironic).

I have a deep fascination in theology and therefore don't consider myself an Atheist, not because I believe it's wrong to be an Atheist, but only because I have yet to rule out the potential for a higher deity-- who knows, I might wind up an Atheist at the time of my death. I don't really consider myself an Agnostic (though if I had to consider myself an Agnostic I would be a Weak Agnostic or I would probably follow an Agnostic theism-- Wikipedia people) either because it's not that I don't know of any existence, or that I don't believe-- but rather I've never been really given a chance. By weak definition I probably would have been a Pagan once upon a time only because I feel almost as if I live in a non-Christian world because of how my parents raised us and it's very weird being so ill educated on this topic. And nothing against Jews, but well... I know I'm not Jewish-- that's the end of that...

I took up a course on Dante's Divine Comedy this past semester and it's really been my first experience in a type of intense theology study in my past 19 (bordering 20) years. I'm still not sure what I believe, but I like this process I've developed from this of accepting and rejecting these ideas as personal ideologies.

I'm also borrowing my roommate's Bible soon because I feel like it's a good place to start-- you know... the beginning.

And now I'm even bored with that ramble, sorry-- I hadn't intended to be so heavy handed and serious so I'm moving on now.

The Evil Baby Orphanage--

I posed this question yesterday and now I'm going to share my opinions now.

I think going back in time and employing an Evil Baby Orphanage would actually be foolish, not because it would be a bad idea to reduce World Suck in the past, but because I feel like having an EBO would increase the chance of creating a grandfather paradox or at the very least an alternate timeline.

The evil that has taken place has defined our World, good or bad and with that I refuse to be the complete undoing of human existence.

However employing an EBO now would be a good idea if we could somehow predict the likelihood of a baby becoming an evil baby-- which might be a little harder given the fact most people don't exhibit signs of being evil until they can walk or talk.

Whoooo I rambled a lot today, I'm sorry-- twas boring and lame and a little too Paxist, what can I say... get me thinking and I really think, and I mean really.

And now I'm done ranting for the day so I'm off BEDA mode for now, however when I actually get my brain all together I remembered I have to ramble about this water they have at school now-- and while I thought I was seeing signs of the DaVinci code, it turned out just to be epic water... *nonsensical*

Accio Appropriate Title, Incendio Writer's Block (BEDA #8)

Evening Nerdfighteria, this is BEDA numbah 8--*excited Kermit the Frog style type clapping*

At least I think it's number 8, if it's not we're going to get a
lesson in counting from Pax, so everyone should be excited.

So you know the drill, I've adapted the title from an already existent song title and made it my own-- my question is:
what song is it?
and who was I just watching on BlogTV? (<---- which is relevant to who wrote the original song).

My Easter weekend officially starts now because my teacher canceled my class tonight as well as my one class tomorrow, so I am basically super super pumped about being able to get some writing and work done early because despite today ending on a sour note I've had a pretty good day. After beating more Peter Pan metaphors to death I went to my Dante's class and realized that theology makes my head hurt. That might be the soul reason I'm not a religious person--well that is aside from all the others. However my roommate is letting me borrow his Bible to read for this weekend, and even then I'll probably just settle for the Lego Bible because it has pictures and the Snape Lego is the devil... so I'd say that's a win all around. Today I also got 3 packages! (which is meant of course in the non-homosexual way, which is apparently a disclaimer I have to make, just an FYI).

The first two aren't so exciting: hearing aid batteries and some screenwriting software from Microsoft (it's Final Draft, so I think that's MS made, correct me if I'm wrong). But the third was schweet to say the least. For some people Easter means religious reflection and appreciation of Jesus, or something like that-- I honestly know more about the religious history of Passover than I do anything in Catholicism (which on a side note for all my Jewish friends, Chag Samayach, my friend Rob taught me that before he went home for the Seder.)

For me however Easter means the long withstanding Paxton tradition of Easter baskets and egg hunts. My mom has always viewed Easter as a second Christmas because she works in a card store and has for close to the past decade now. Before that my mom used to celebrate Easter like this because usually money was tighter around Christmas so she'd space out stuff making sure we always got what we wanted. I'd be really quick to say I was spoiled but I honestly neither ask not expect any of this and I think that makes all the difference.


This is my first Easter away from home (last year Easter ran early and Spring Break ran late so my first college year was the same old same old.) and it's a little weird to say the least. I'm so used to waking up and hunting for chocolate eggs around the house and then sitting down and opening up the baskets with the family. My mom is really great in this respect and I really can't wait till she's an amazing grandmother to my kids, or at least until I get to repay half of this back and spoil my kids on Easter (after church of course, I'm sticking to my guns with mixing traditions... which hopefully means my kids will have a stronger moral center =P hahaha).

I opened up the box addressed to me from my mom and was really shocked to find she had organized a whole basket (minus the basket if that makes any sense). She still went to whole nines even if I couldn't be there and included the note attached to a bag of chocolate eggs that said "have someone hide these for you, Ducky"-- and yes, she does call me Ducky...thank you very much...

Albeit I was a little sad at first because I know this means that my dad isn't in the right enough state of mind to come visit me at school, but I know he's recovering well from his stroke so the best I can do is be happy for him and use the holiday to reflect on that.

Even with all that my mom managed to bring home to me in form of a small brown box complete with candy (more than I know what to do with to be honest ranging from gum, chocolate, and even non-shitty candy hearts, even if they are Twilight themed *I personally like Twilight, but I honestly don't ask for all this*), fuzzy blue bunny whom I have named Colin, and a random assortment of odds and ends that included an Amex gift card, T-Shirt, and a movie magazine which I clandestinely read over in class.

Even I'm still shocked to get money on Easter, but I was soooooooo happy at the same time. After nerding about for an hour or so about what I was going to buy with my money I settled on buying:

Papertowns by John Green
An Abundance of Katherines by John Green
and of course the Paxist standby for weekend food,
some Chinese food.

If you don't know who John Green is, let alone Hank Green, or even the Vlogbrothers then I'm not even sure how you managed to read through this whole thing and for wasting your time I apologize I'll let you step out... now...
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so now to test my blog audience...

be doo doo doo...?

Thought so...

But really, If you've still continued to read and have never seen the Vlogbrothers I think you should check the out you can check on YouTube under keywords: Vlogbrothers, John Green, DFTBA, or even so far as to search for Nerdfighters.

On a side note my question for you is:

Evil Baby Orphanage-- after this week's developments what do you feel about EBO?

I'm just curious where people stand, I'll share my opinions in BEDA #9 if I remember or care to explain.

The rest of the day however took a weird turn as soon as I went to go get my Chinese food man from the guy who did nothing but manage to yell at me-- which usually happens, this is our symbiotic relationship now.

After dealing with the frazzled, angry, but apologetic Chinese food man I popped over the the market that is behind my building where I literally found that hell had broken loose, and in the most accurate senses of the word.

I had never had anyone scream at me: only go this way if you want to get shot today...

I'm going to preface the rest of this with the basic fact that I was never in any immediate danger, I'm fine, and the campus is safe now as of the time I'm posting it.

However a few hours ago we had a situation with a guy in the Park River apartments, which are basically a set of dorm-style apartments set between my complex and the market-- and was ironically where I was headed to buy some iced tea.

Some yahoo had apparently taken a few people hostage after a failed armed robbery, and the basic facts which have been released is that after an hour or two of snipers, K9 units, National Guard, and probably a large portion of both campus and HPD the guy was eventually talked down and no one was injured.

Even with all this, I'm not going to lie-- it was pretty fucking scary to find you've walked into a war zone with guys using guns and shouting commands you've only ever seen in even the most intense shooter game.

I'm still a little shaken, but it's done nothing to ruin my night or my early weekend, I've just learned about the state of our campus' security.

But all these worries aside I think I'm going to read some BBook of Geek and watch some Dil Chahta Hai for class...

and remember Nerdfighters-- DFTBA

When I Grow Up, I Want To Have Fairies (BEDA #7)

So this is a re-write on an earlier blog because I wrote it before to honestly get it out of the way, and now I feel like that's not really the point of blogging or BEDA so we'll call this a more successful take two.

The title this time is once again based on a song, and helps preface the long discussion that once again teaches me that I've been the same person I've been since I was 9 years old.

Didja guess the song? *squeaface*

I was on a short self-imposed isolation this week, for no real reason other than sometimes you need to clear your head to realize that everything was making sense in the first place.

Though having this iMode of sorts really allowed to me to appreciate some things and realize some others.

This week I talked with my fiancee about some of the most random things, and I feel like moments where I slow down and just appreciate our relationship are really some of the reasons why we're as strong as we are.

...then again we also talk about eating dirt and the time I got drunk and married the 12 girls band...

*crickets*

Moving on...

I feel like I can never really express to her how grateful I am for her, and blah blah blah-- sentimental stuff that's she's heard over and over and over again-- but really, I'm just glad she gave me my second chance.

Today we wound up talking about a time when we weren't together (which feels like years ago now) and we were talking about how one time back in November (I believe) I had a date with a girl I wasn't all too interested in (keep in mind this was a college date, it was on campus, I didn't pay, we used meal plans, I walked her back to her room after, and realized I hated college dating)...

It made me realize how much time can really pass in almost 2 years...

and yes, I know-- I'm not an idiot, I know that when two years time passes it has been about 2 years but when you look at it like this it looks crazy.

It's an interesting connection to follow when you look at a guy who went from heartbroken in 2007 to happily engaged to 2009 and all it took was:

• one failed long term "relationship"
• 2 failed casual dates with 2 girls (<--- ironically this was probably the same result of the guy who made "2 Girls, 1 Cup)
• one clandestinely jealous best friend
• a relationship
• a slap to the face (<--- told you it was a casual dating fail)
• a failed 2 month relationship that tells you that interracial dating is fine, the Irish and Swedish just don't mesh (inter-ethnic fail)
  
• an epiphany
• a relationship with my best friend that lasted 1 year and 5 days (<---- all amazing)
• and one surprise engagement in a time frame that only the Doctor could handle.

If I hadn't lived it all, I'd never have believed it was possible too... trust me.

Sometimes I'd like to go back and warn 12 year old Pax that he's got a rocky road ahead of him, but he's got his own worries to handle

... after all

he's just found out he was rejected from Hogwarts and he's too busy in the backyard looking for the second star to the right (and straight on till morning...)

But I guess something stands true from the 12 year old falling off his footboard because Tinkerbell's not there yet to help him fly (<---- I think I might have just found a metaphor...woot) and the near 20 year old who has the same fear in the metaphorical sense... No regrets

Sometimes You Just Feel Like a Bad Hat (BEDA #6)

This is the only day of the week so far where I'm really not feeling BEDA, all I want to do is sleep but part of blogging everyday is like being stuck in a Biodome of obligation. So because of the nagging compulsion that keeps me doing this, here is my day in short summation.

Woke up this morning a little earlier than I had expected, and was quite displeased with my lack of motivation even then. I kicked off work mode really early, and yet still ironically seemed to finish late-- that's how Dante's writing works.

I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan of Dante, or even a scholar, but I'm grasping it slowly every day and that's a miracle within itself. The text is a little bit heavy handed in expressing Christianity as the end all be all of being a good person, of which I'm neither here nor there when it comes to opinions. I believe what you want, say what you want, do what you want, respect that other people have the same right-- and you repeat this everyday until someday a higher belief resurrects itself from the mashed up incoherency that is the average human brain mixed with theology.

I would up leaving late for class, one of the hazards of having that annoying couple separation anxiety every time I leave May, and yes-- it happens almost every time never fail, trust me-- I'd be sick of us if I didn't think we were so cute (and slightly superior to "normal" couples =P)

Even with all this however I still wound up making it to class in only 5 minutes flat, which to explain is clearly feat of God or some divine nature because even had I been running it should have taken me 15 minutes-- proof that divinity is slowly showing itself to me in the most unexpected of ways hahaha.

My Dante's class ticked by at a crawl like pace, and I would know, I was staring the clock all class. After that interminable Inferno was over I went to meet with my film adviser. He's British and a little bit touched in the head, I'm not going to lie when I say I think there's something mildly wrong with him-- but he's helped me out of many a bind, so he's alright in my book.

It was today when I was granted another small surprise-- I'm almost finished school, technically. As of my Spring 2010 I will only have 2 general education courses left and 4 more film courses, which leaves me to finish up my ComSci requirements with little to no worrries.

Needless to say, I AM PUMPED.

But at the same time terrified of the fact the future is really coming fast, which once again on the same crux I'm likewise pumped again-- but I think that's because without a doubt, even if my future plans don't go just as that, planned... at least I have someone that I know I'm going to go home to everyday.

For some reason now, the frightening concept of our future doesn't freak me out so much-- someone get me some shades (<----cheesy reference a la 80s)

And now because lab has taken a ton out of me I believe I'm going to settle into doing some of my ComSci work and then getting a nap in-- tired Pax is tired =P

I Never Understood the Spiel About Rainy Days and Mondays Until They Happened All At Once (BEDA #5)

Today's just really one of those days, the typical: rainy days and Mondays always get me down-- and now I've been blessed with a rainy Monday and a pretty depressed mood to boot.

I always promised myself I'd never blog when I was feeling depressed because I felt that while blogging should be about sharing, I never liked sharing when I was in a bad mood-- so like my general mood today call this a fake smile plastered to this whole thing.

I got an unprecedented amount of sleep last night, I really don't think I've gotten that much sleep since last summer or possibly even so far back as when I was younger than 16 at this point. I've also come to the conclusion why I really don't like getting a lot of sleep-- it's a plain waste of time. I went to bed shortly after 11 last night and woke up shortly after 8:30 only to find that no matter how much sleep I can get, the human body is a bit of a sleep whore and always wants more. Unless this is just me, and then in this cause ummm... *clears throat* Hello, I'm Pax and I'm addicted to sleep.

All I can think is that I have 5 more weeks, that's about it-- maybe a little less, maybe a little more until I can leave school again for almost 4 months. The Hallelujah chorus has never been so fitting in this moment, well either that or something from High School Musical 2-- but I have a feeling that one of them is much less likely to get things thrown at me.

If anyone could tell me which one of these is fact I'd be appreciative...

I called my mom up in a fit of desperation the other day to tell her the my Bank of America account is looking particularly scant lately, and I'd like to ironically point out that my Bank of America account is the most American thing about me-- FYI. It took some negotiating ironically for her to give me less money, because she was trying to offer me 50 dollars, and I told her that I only needed exactly $17.56 to finish out the next 5 weeks.

I know a lot of people just *headdesked* at me not accepting more money, and for those of you who didn't, then I'm glad you understand the subtle science of borrowing money from your parents.

My mom is giving me the money, not as a borrowing thing-- but just so I don't sound too ungrateful, I did offer to dance around the front lawn in a monkey suit to give her 20 dollars worth of lawls.

She has yet to get back to me yet, but if you have a monkey suit and live in the New England area, I might possibly need to get in touch with you...

The sun just started to come out-- ironically it's doing nothing but mocking my mood at the moment.

I just have a lot of thinking to do this week, so in order for me to do that properly I've basically de-teching for the next week, not fully-- and I might pop on my messengers for a little bit but other than maybe a few YM sessions and BEDA I probably won't be around

I've put karma freeze on Plurk and I think most people won't notice my Twitter absence, Facebook depresses me and I'm not even sure why I keep Myspace-- I just don't want to be reached this week...

FAQs--Not To Be Confused with Fat Angry Quails (BEDA #4)

Oh herro...

This is an atypical blog which we are calling--

Frequently Asked Questions!!!

Believe it or not, even a loser like me eventually get a lots of frequently asked questions about himself, and I am both flattered whilst being simultaneously annoyed. So I've come up with an answer inspired by Liam Dryden AKA LittleRadge on YouTube (check him out, he's Scottish and his girlfriend is Fijian and they are probably one of the more epic couples you will find on the internet-- aside from maybe one *coughs*)


Also-- keep in mind that this is meant to be informative, funny, and not to be taken too seriously in how I respond, just in the answers that I give...

So...here it goes:

Question 1: Is your name really Edward?
Yes, my name is Edward-- Edward James Paxton to be exact (lolololol Edward James?)-- once again, yes my middle name is James, it's not like my mum planned future trends of fan girls 16 years early. I'd really prefer you just call me Pax though if we're anything from friends, family, or random strangers.

Question 2: How old are you?
I actually get this one a lot for people who just see me physically-- I'm almost 20 years old, I'm going to be 20 on Sunday the 7th of June. And before you ask more, yes I'm aware I look 16-- it's just my face, hopefully I'll grow out of it.

Question 3: Do you go to school, where, and what are you studying?
Questions like this always make me feel like I'm being stalked for some reason, but I'll give you basics--
I'm finishing up my second year at my university, and yes I go to a university and not a college. I'm also based in the Hartford area of Connecticut-- in which I like to keep my privacy for the most part unless you really want to hang out, and even then I'm apt to think you're a rapist. In regards to what I'm studying, I'm a film major with emphasis with analysis and writing-- basically I critique content and write my own scripts, production is not my strong suit. I'm also adding a minor in Computer Science for a few reasons, most of which involve me being a nerd and want to take over the world with my family of hackers *shifty eyes*.

Question 4: Do you have any social networking sites, and can I add you up there?
I can't see why you'd want to, but I'm not going to stop you...you can find me on:
Myspace
Twitter
Plurk
Tumblr
Multiply
Friendster(not sure why I have one...)

I also have a few messengers, but the only one I feel okay sharing is MSN, so you can add me under Paxomaniac@Live.com

The best bet is to go online and just search keyword: Paxomaniac, and you'll find me and figure out where I'm at.

Question 5: You realize your name is Edward, right?
Yes... I know, the joke got old about 4 years ago, so let's just all collectively let out a laugh "hahaha, your name is Edward!"-- are we good now?

Question 6: Do you have a girlfriend?
No, I am quite girlfriendless at the moment

Question 7: Are you single?
Oh, that, no...I'm not *whistles*

Question 8: But you just said you didn't have a girlfriend...
I'll let you ask May about that...

Question 9: Who the heck is May?
May is the fifth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar, and one of seven Gregorian months with the length of 31 days
but in my own personal context May is one half of Paxmay and is less commonly known as Mariel-- and if you couldn't figure out that if she is one half of Paxmay, then I being the Pax part, make up the second half. She was my girlfriend for over a year and best friend for even longer, but that ended-- we're engaged now, so I can still smirk and say that I am more than taken.

Question 10: Oh, so you're *not* gay?
I'm unregretably straight, and I'm fine with you calling me: gay, queer, faggot, flaming rainbow-- I attract gay men like I attract fan girls and either way I'm flattered, but I'm looking for something a little more Maylicious.

Question 11: But don't you realize your name is Edward, haven't you read--
Yes to both... I have read the books, I see the connections, and before you ask again keep in mind that like the fictional Edward I am also romantically involved-- you might want to try for a guy named Jacob or Mike, you might have better luck.

Question 12: OMG ARE YOU FLIP??LOLOLOLOL
for those of you who don't understand LOLSpeech basically this question means: Are you perhaps Filipino? If you are, I would find this laugh out loud worthy.
...*sighs*-- I AM NOT FILIPINO-- I repeat, hindi Pilipino ako, Amerikano ako.

Question 13: But you speak Tagalog?
I also speak Spanish, German, French, and American Sign Language, and I am none of these nationalities (though I am partially deaf, just FYI)

Question 14: I don't understand, how do you know Tagalog?
I was Filipino in a past life... *shrugs*

Question 15: Huh?
*headdesk*-- ummm, lemme try again--
Back in December 2007 I started learning some basic phrases to wish my best friend a multilingual Happy Birthday (and yes, this same best friend is my fiancee now, FYI-- which through deductive reasoning should tell you she is Filipina). It actually got to be really interesting and I saw a lot of tethers to Spanish (which I'm fluent in), but at the same time it was a language I had no backing in. I started doing my own web research and began watching videos and downloading some free flashcard programs. I also like watching Filipino movies (Regal Cinema for the win!) and learned a lot of pronounciation there (my favorite love team hands down is Mark Herras and Jennylyn Mercado-- just to show you how Pinoy I can get hahaha). I even bought an elementary text book for Christmas and I learn from that whenever I have free time. Being on Plurk helped me a lot too and is why I can read a lot more Tagalog than I can respond in-- it's basically being immersed in something so long you start to pick it up out of necessity.

So yes in short, I can speak some Tagalog, read some, write some-- but if I get confused with something you said, please be nice to me and translate instead of making some remark about how I don't know what I'm doing-- I never said I was fluent, I'm still a student.

Question 16: But why the Philippines?
well besides having a bias with my fiancee, I'm not really sure-- I'm not normal and I have proof, and before asking anything about that I recommend you check out my specialty blog here: http://notsoabroadamerikano.blogspot.com/

Question 17: are you a whore?
Let's go down the list:
I'm a virgin, I'm engaged, I have never done anything sexually with anyone, and even when I will, it's with someone I'm fully committed-- so I can live proud knowing these facts: I don't have AIDS or other diseases-- and I don't have to worry about them developing, I might be inexperienced-- but I'm in love, and I've never preached about staying a virgin and then decided to suck someone off in lieu of sexual intercourse *Pax: 1, Haters:0*-- hope you can kiss mommy and daddy with that mouth hahaha.

Question 18: what every Pax-girl (fangirl, hahaha) wants to know...boxers or briefs? woot)" height="21"> (thanks Sam hahaha)
No shame in a man with Boxers-- and before it goes on any long rant about why, I honestly don't know. They're cheap, I can wear them around the house without feeling naked, they're cheap, we don't need to see more of my body than necessary, I have since I was 7-- and also because deep down I think they sound more badass-- like Balboa-esque boxer.

Question 19: how do we know that you're real and you're not a really advanced bot who could answer people like a normal human?
Like internet bot, or robot-bot?

Because the first one is simple, bots have an easier time with CAPTCHA than I do, and a bot wouldn't have epic fails like :), =0), or =00 when in YM.

As for real robots, I've actually discussed the potential of having robotic organs and limbs swapped out for mine when my human body starts to go rubbish. Basically it's really out of a yen to live forever, and right now vampirism has such a stigma against it (thanks Stephenie Meyer [/sarcasm]

Question 20: is it true that orange has no rhyming word?
Orange rhymes with door hinge, problem solved...

Question 21: If you're not Filipino, then what are you?
American, specifically of an Irish, English, and Australian ethnicity

Question 22: You're not Asian?
No...

Question 23: Not even half?
No...not even half...

Question 24: You look a little Korean...
That's not even a question, and if anything I've been told I look half Pinoy...

Question 25: so you're not really Pinoy?
Didn't we cover this?... and why the hell am I asked you... THEY'RE MY FAQS!

Question 26: Why do you squint so much then?
It's just something with my face, I have particularly narrow eyes for a Caucasian eye, in fact before you ask-- my eyes are blue. I'm just kind of singkit, and most people I know have learned to accept me as I am (mostly Filipinos, let's not lie)

Question 27: what can you do to help conserve our environment?
I never leave the computer, by preventing my time outside in the environment, I'm making sure there's more for everyone else... happy?

Question 29: Why did you skip 28?
Because I hate even numbers, and I have a firm believe that while the solution the universe is 42, the only contribution I can add to that mix is 29...and if you have to ask why, then I guess I'll have more FAQs for another go =P hahaha